I’M NOT AN ARTIST: A Journey through Imposter Syndrome and Self Discovery
For the longest time, I never thought of myself as an artist. I had a pretty different life plan in mind. You see, I graduated from Indiana University with a degree in health sciences. My childhood was all about sports and music. I was an athlete and music ran in the family. Choirs, instruments, you name it. I never drew a lot, and I certainly didn't take any art classes until mid-college. So…you’re more than likely wondering, “ How did she become an artist?”
In 2018, I stumbled into a paint-and-sip class with my mom for Mother's Day. The instructor was kind and encouraging, and I ended up painting lily pads and water. Surprisingly, the instructor told me I had potential and should explore art more seriously. I was going through a tough breakup at the time and feeling down. Painting became my way of healing and coping.
I started creating a bunch of paintings. Painting for fun and painting to heal. I sold a few paintings at a Paint in the Park event and felt that art was a side gig, something to distract me from the heartbreak. I had also become a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated and got requests to create art, like painted mirrors and jackets for friends and family members. These side projects helped me gain experience working with clients, but I still didn't see myself as an artist. It was just extra money to help me get through college and to be truthful I was more focused on my major - health sciences.
Then came 2019. I got picked to paint a mural in downtown Indianapolis at the City Market. I met lots of local artists and got to show my work to thousands of people driving past the mural every day. It was pretty cool, but I still thought, "I'm not an artist. I just like to paint" That imposter syndrome was real. Most artists I met had been doodling since they were in diapers. That wasn't me. That wasn’t my story.
But things changed in 2020 when the pandemic hit. I lost two jobs and found myself painting more than ever. I was obsessed with bringing my ideas and visions to life. I watched hours of youtube videos and enrolled in online courses to help build by technical skills. I fell in love with drawing and painting and for a time that was all I could focus on the keep my mind off of the COVID world crisis. Whenever I would go hangout with friends I’d always be carrying a canvas and a bag of paint. Painting kept me busy and kept my mind off of the anxiety that I was feeling at the time.
Later that year, a friend offered her place for me to host a solo art show. I went all in, calling it the "Freedom Session." It was about breaking free from the limits I'd set for myself. I painted a series of my favorite musicians, rappers, and singers. It was so fun building this series because I was able to really get in my element. I would focus on a musician or singer, listen to hours and hours of their music, and paint the musician with colors that I saw connected to the music.
The show was a hit. Friends, family, and folks I'd met while my friend was moving out all came to celebrate and buy my art. That's when it clicked. I realized that I wasn't just creating art; I was an artist. It was about more than the act of painting; it was about sharing stories, emotions, and experiences through art.
Since then, I've hosted more shows, taken on public art projects, and taught countless workshops. Now, I'm a full-time artist and art educator, sharing God's love and peace through my art. I teach during the day, run my art business, and collaborate on some pretty cool projects. I'm incredibly grateful for this journey, and I'm loving every moment of it.
